So I had made it all the way to Seligenstadt. Dr. Kruschinski is so very kind and receptive to my needs...finally a doctor who understands. He even had his nurse go out to buy a DVD player so we could watch movies in the apartment. After being treated as a leper among all the doctors I had seen so far...I felt had finally met a man of altruism.
I am ready to be one of the first Americans to get relief from these adhesions. I am not afraid at all. This clinic had the blessing of all those whom I trusted, those with the proper credentials. I know I asked all the right questions.
Everyone coming out of Germany was claiming they were well.
Dr. Kruschinski was reporting all case were 100% adhesion free at second look.
All my savings are gone and we live in limbo. I have a young daughter. I begged for my very life from family, friends and even total strangers.( I still bear the repercussions to this day).
I can have my career back, I can provide for us again.
I can do all the things that had stopped.
I m not going to die after all! This was defiantly worth begging and borrowing money. I used to be a famous chef...really. Newspapers, cookbooks, nationally and internationally. I got job offers all the time so when I was well it would be only a matter of time before I had my own restaurant and TV show ( I had professional writers and even a pilot written for PBS, a humorous but practical show call " Eat This".
That had to be shelved. I was just too sick.
I'd pay everyone back real fast and then get the chefs all over this ARD thing...we would fundraise as we do to help those in need...
Not a couple of hundred but thousands...I once cooked with Todd English at the James Beard House and folks paid $500 a couple to eat. I don't even recall the charity. Yup, Tons of money would fix this ARD thing. ( I was really thinking this...Even mentioned it to Daniel....hmmmm)
Here I am on the gurney just outside the OR doors. I am up next and should be going in and minute now....
I do not know how much time has elapsed but I am getting a little worried.
A girl named Terri had gone in first.
She and her husband were in the other apartment. Gosh, she was real sick and we did not see much of her. We saw her husband. He had heard of the "Cure" and brought the mother of his children to get well again.
Hey, really too much time is elapsing here. Is something wrong?
( It's not too late to just get up and walk....Nah, you came all this way...)
...but jeez it really is taking TOO LONG...gosh I hope Terri is OK?...Am I nuts, what the heck am I doing in Germany?...Nope this is it, this is my best and only chance....)
I hear faint screaming.....the doors to the OR finally open and that screaming is hardly faint.....screaming, screaming screaming.
It's Terri, Dear God, what happened to her?
Immediately I start to get up...I am sitting up and this is all so surreal.
I am going to get off this gurney....
Dr. Thomas the anesthesiologist sees me and I yell. " Is she OK? What's wrong with...."
"Shush...it is Ok. She is fine. She is just a big baby. You, you are going to be just fine. You are not a baby like that. Are you ready?"
"Ya". ( I'm tough, I'm butch, I'm cool) I am ready. Are you sure she is OK?
Somehow through the post surgical blur I am in a private room at Emma Clinic. As always when I wake up from surgery my first conscious thought is "I'm gonna puke" and I did and did and did.
Hey wait, there's screaming again. It dark, nighttime...I hear running down the hallway. Terri, it's got to be, jeez she is a big baby.
Screaming, screaming.....We are the only 2 patient on this floor.
Well, so I am puking, but I hear more running from the hallway.
I...better wait a bit before I push the call button for the nurse.
Some time passed and I finally pressed the call button.
Someone is running like hell towards my room ( no need to run, I am fine just having a bit of a puke problem...I am not a baby)
I must admit these nurses were amazing. Push the button and they come running like hell, not like home.
There is some blood on her uniform...I don't think a thing, a doctor had brushed off this screaming behavior with the baby comment. Heck thats good enough for me...
All night, running and screaming, running and screaming...
We saw her husband from time to time and he came to our apartment to borrow dvds back and forth. We did not see Terri again till the night at the Russian Restaurant.
Drink up all! She hardly said a word and looked like hell. They were gone the next day.
So, back to the present. I have found out by asking a few surgeons if it is in any way normal or right for a patient to wake up in OR, let alone screaming.
The answer was a resounding NO!
I am haunted by her screams and wish perhaps I did get off that gurney. Wish I did go into her room that night to ask her what was wrong, are you ok.
Terri I am so sorry, I pray you are OK. You see, other patients confided in me after we were in Germany. Bad things happed to them as well.
Oh the horror, the horror.
I can still hear the screams.
Dawn
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